A The Atlantic essay argues that using artificial intelligence to handle personal communication with friends — like drafting texts, emails or responses in group chats — has begun to blur social norms and undermine authentic connection. The author shares an anecdote about someone suspecting that a funeral eulogy was AI-generated because it sounded generic and abstract rather than specific and heartfelt, suggesting that AI-produced messages can feel emotionally hollow in deeply human situations.
While AI’s linguistic capabilities can make writing and replying more efficient, the article stresses that personal interactions are governed by unspoken etiquette that hasn’t yet adapted to AI use. Just as social rules exist about etiquette in gatherings and invitations, there’s no widespread agreement about whether it’s acceptable — or respectful — to use AI to compose messages to close friends or family members. The lack of such norms leaves many uncertain about how to balance convenience with care.
The author warns that outsourcing emotional labour to AI — even for everyday messages — risks eroding the authenticity of relationships. Automated responses can create the impression of engagement without genuine investment, which may feel disrespectful to the recipient. Unlike work or school settings where AI use is becoming accepted and regulated, interpersonal use remains a “Wild West”, with social etiquette still catching up to the technology.
Ultimately, the piece argues that friendship and personal relationships require effort, empathy and individual expression, aspects that AI cannot truly replicate. It suggests that while AI can assist with drafting or brainstorming, relying on it to communicate for us — especially in emotionally significant contexts — risks distancing us from one another rather than drawing us closer.
